Because You Can't Send Crack in the Mail

OK, I thought this was the most interesting piece of mail we received this week. Amidst all the various coupons for baby products, magazines about baby raising, and credit card offers for Molly, we received this little gem:

It’s a DVD with all the latest and greatest info on both “Guiding Light” and “As the World Turns”. It’s got background info on the plot, character synopses, the latest gossip, who killed JR, and so much more… This way you can bond with the characters and dive right into the soaps, no prior experience necessary…

I’m so stoked. I mean, this is what we had Molly for…