The Crank Monster
Categories: BabyAh blogs, you write a few articles and then drop off the world… this tends to be the problem most people have with blogs, so I’ll take comfort in that…
Anyway, it turns out that we brought more than one person home from the hospital. While most of the day Molly varies between curious, sleepy, snuggly, and hungry, right around 7:00 at night, her face scrunches up, she starts jittering around and then she pulls a Jeckyll & Hyde and turns into: the Crank Monster. The change takes approximately 0.03 nanoseconds.
The Crank Monster is recognized by her reddish glow, whipping hands, kicking legs, and open mouth. Her most feared weapon is her powerful, and oh so constant scream. Oh, so constant.
Various strategies such as rocking, singing, dancing, burping, tummy-rubbing, and sacrificial finger offerings all have a one-time value. While they confuse and pacify the Crank Monster the first time, she quickly acclimates to the new behavior and adjusts her strategy by: screaming. The only weapon that can always fight the Crank Monster is: the double-barrel Milk-Maker 2007 (not to be confused with the Widow-Maker 2007, which I hope Kate never orders…).
The Crank Monster’s only natural enemy is sleep which usually only fully overtakes her around 11:30 - midnight. Ah, the joys of parenthood…
I’m still using my 2005 model. It remains the most powerful weapon, even as new equipment has been added to the arsenal to gradually replace it.
Your advanced model will be powerful not only for crankiness, but also for PISD (post immunization stress disorder), PASD (post any stress disorder - a very broad disorder with random and sudden onset) and sleeping calmly through colds (all three of you) if she ever gets one.
- Laura
Hoser,
Don’t worry. The incessant crying won’t last forever. Eventually it will turn into incessant screaming:)
Jesse
- Jesse
I don’t know who to feel sorriest for…
I think you’re losing…
- MJ
it’s okay to put her down and walk away for a while. sometimes they just sort it out themselves. remember evolution built it so that they remember virtually nothing of their first 3 yrs. it’s got to be that way for a reason.
- cq
I respectfully disagree with the last post by cq.
Neither your newborn nor any other young child will sort things themselves. As you are intimately familiar — Molly is utterly dependent on you for everything including her need for safety and emotional security. Her need for sleep, food, and company, all come out as one of her cries to you which you’ve probably are already learning to decipher.
Child development research is conclusive that parents who do not respond to their child’s legitimate needs — and all expressed needs are legitimate at this young age — are setting up their kids for serious emotional attachment problems. No one said being a parent was easy, but a sure way to make a lifetime of problems for you and your child is by walking away when a child needs you. Hilary said it Takes a Village, when really it Takes a Parent!
Regarding the memory fact — child development research shows that children that do not have responsive parents have cognitive and memory development delays and ongoing problems apparently as a psychological defense mechanism.
As for why healthy attached children don’t have very early childhood memories? Current research holds that the brain is still being developed and networks are stilled being formed. One thing is for sure — lack of memory certainly isn’t a blank check for emotional neglect!
Help eachother, support eachother, and don’t be afraid to ask for help! We are all proud of and supporting you!!!
- AM